Those green eyes
by Shuchun
Summary: Short story where Severus reviews some really sad memories with Lily. NB: Contains spoilers from Deathly Hallows! Rated T because it includes death.


_- Lily!  
>Severus Snape was running up to her on their way to a Charms lesson. She had barely looked at him since that fateful night in fifth grade, when she ended their friendship. <em>_Now they were in seventh grade, and they still weren't friends. If nothing happened soon... No, Severus couldn't bear the thought.  
>- Lily... he said again, not looking at her, in fear of seeing anger or even disgust. - I'm so sorry, Lily... Please, be my friend again...<br>She didn't reply at first, so Severus looked up. She was staring at him like he was some sort of snail, her hand laying safe in James Potter's. Sirius Black, who was standing next to them, started laughing, and others joined him. Soon everyone around was laughing, except for Remus Lupin, who looked like he was truly sorry for Severus, and Lily herself.  
>- And why excactly would I want to be friends with you? she asked, her voice full of sarcasm. Severus was staring right into those green eyes of hers, and it took a couple of seconds before he got courage enough to say what he really felt.<br>- Because I love you._

Severus thought of that memory often, and every time it made him feel ashamed. Lily had looked surprised and shocked for a short while, and everyone had stopped laughing. But then James had gotten his wand out and hexed him so hard he had felt it for a week. While he had crawled away, he hadn't gotten the chance to look at Lily, but after that she went back to ignoring him, even though James became meaner and meaner because Severus dared to say those words to his girlfriend. The next time he talked to Lily was their last day at Hogwarts.  
><em><br>He was on his way to the feast when he met her. She was alone.  
>- Lily... he said, not very sure on himself.<br>- Don't talk to me, Snape. I think I've told you, I'm not interested.  
>- But Lily, if only you would listen. I didn't mean what I said back then, in fifth grade... I didn't mean... mud-blood...<br>She turned around and looked him straight in the eyes, and once again he saw those green eyes of hers, but this time they were angry.  
>- But you meant everything about the dark arts, Snape. I don't need a friend who wants to be a Death Eater.<br>And then she disappeared into the Great Hall, but Severus didn't follow her. He went alone out to the park._

And he knew now that she was right. He should never have followed the Dark Lord. He killed her, and now he was killing him too. Except that he couldn't kill him, because he was already dead. He had been dead ever since the 31th of October, 1981, when he lost his world.

_- Lily! No, Lily!  
>Severus was searching through the destroyed house as fast as he could. Soon, very soon, someone would be there, but first he needed to see her. He just needed to. And there she was... her dead body, just laying there, while a baby was crying.<br>- Lily... he whispered, while tears started to leave his eyes and fall down on her face. Her body was still warm, as if her soul had left it just moments earlier. And when he looked into those green eyes of hers, he realized they were empty. She was gone forever, and she would never come back. And while he took this in, he felt despair creeping into his body. He was alone, she had left him, it was over... He ran out of the house, quickly, out to the dark street, and before he could break all down, he had disapparated._

That was a memory he felt stronger than the others, because it was the worst memory. Ten years later, her son started at Hogwarts, and that was worse than he had expected. He had James Potter's look, a look Severus hated. It was the look of the man who had made is life a living hell for so many years years, first by bullying him, then by stealing his best friend. But he had Lily's eyes, and that hurt even more. It was painful to have to see them so often, and even though it wasn't Harry's fault, he just couldn't help blaming him. And then Sirius Black escaped, the man everyone thought betrayed Lily and James. Severus had done his best to catch him... if he really was to blame for Lily's dead, he wanted nothing but to kill him. But he escaped, thanks to the Potter boy, he was sure of that. The Potter boy... Who always acted like he was so special, and that everyone should feel sorry for him.

_- You weren't the only one who lost someone that night, Potter... I lost the love of my life..._

Oh, how many times he had wanted to say those words to him... but he couldn't, he just couldn't... it was too painful. And there he came... While Severus was laying there, dying, Harry Potter was walking to him. This was his last chance... his last chance to tell him... But he could hardly speak. Suddenly silvery-blue wisps started streaming from his mouth, ears, and eyes.  
>- Take... it... Take... it, Severus whispered. And he did. While he knelt down to collect his teacher's memories, Severus remembered something Albus Dumbledore once had told him. That Harry Potter had <em>precisely<em> the same eyes as his mother.  
>- Look... at... me...<br>Severus' voice could barely be heard, but Harry did as he was told. And for the last time, Severus looked into those green eyes, who once belonged to Lily Evans. Then the light disappeared from his own black ones, and he followed Death to finally meet her again.


End file.
